Struggling

So Afraid to cross that line...
My heart is in fear...
My soul cries out to You oh Allah
Yearning to taste the sweetness of this faith, so dear...

Free me from these dunya chains...
For I am struggling to break free...
I know that with every breath You are with me,
So, liberate my soul and save it from drowning in this worldly sea

Yaa Rabb, make my nafs not one to be tempted by the treasures of this prison
Trapped I feel, with nowhere to go... Make Your Qur'aan my only guidance
Struggling I am... I need You ya Allah, I need You to give me strength,
This life is of no worth, Yaa Rabbi accept from me when I repent...

I want to be strong...
Yet I'm struggling through...
Allow me to taste the purity of iman...
Allow me to feel the tenderness of being close to You...

Alhamdu Lillah

Suddenly things appear so bleak and the picture seems unclear.
My eyes burn as they fill with tears and I turn my back on this world.
Restless and unable to think straight, my only desire is to just walk away.
Fatigue overcomes me and my eyes struggle to remain open.
My body is weak and the only comfort I seem to find is in the pages of the Book.
With words that speak straight to me, I am reminded of the sole purpose of this Life
And with the soothing verses of its chapters, my heart is overwhelmed with content,
The content that only exists with faith and reliance on The Lord, Almighty.
So even when the heart is bleeding, and the tears are falling,
Look up at the sky... Raise your hands up high.
The Most Supreme, The Sublime will most definitely respond to your cry...
Alhamdu Lillahi Rabbil 'Aalameen

Be Mindful of Allah

On the authority of Abu Abbas Abdullah the son of Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both), who said:

One day I was behind the Prophet (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and he said to me: Young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice]:

Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.

Allah Knows

Just one step at a time
As hard as it may seem
With Allah by your side
You'll make it through

The entire world and all that is in it may stand against you
But know they will not harm you without His will

So be strong
Smile
Praise God
For you are truly blessed

A long road it is
With no one on your side but He
So hold your head up high
Know you are loved

They can try to bring you down
They can try to quiet you
But they will not succeed
No, they will not.

Do not stoop to their level
Be better than them
And insha'Allah you are

Because Allah Knows
He sees all... He hears all
So hold your tears in
Don't let them get to you
Allah Knows...

Darkness to Light

Chillin’ and hangin’ with your crew;
With your Islam, are you being true?
What a sad state our ummah has become;
Disintegrated when we once stood strongly as one.
How long will this continue for?
When will we finally awake?
Return to sincerely following Allah’s law,
And cease putting our reputation at stake....

Let Islam ascend like the sun,
Let it shimmer and shine upon everyone;
Bow down to none other than Allah the Almighty One,
Repent, erase the past, what’s done is done.

Let the tears of repentance flow from your eyes,
Taste the sweetness of returning to the Great One, The Wise.
Feel the beauty of Islam warm you up from inside;
Let its splendour overwhelm you; may you reach Paradise.

The freedom of belonging to the Sublime;
Blessed with the gift of the Holy Quran,
A book like no other, limited to neither place nor time;
Sent as a blessing to all of mankind.

So turn your back on the world,
And raise your hands up to the sky,
Make dua to your Lord
And let Islam carry you from darkness to light.

A Child

Our embellished dreams desire you

To abide in them and be lighted.

And we wait for the day to see you

In the future shining as the greatest

The concept of Life was explained to me for hours and days;

And revealed to me lyrics of the loveliest words.

Yet, as Baffled and amazed that I was,

Nobody depicted life better than your angelic gaze,

Verses of poetry, in your eyes, I can see;

Serene Tunes from your lips, I can hear, summon for me;

Such beautiful tunes and melodies produce joy in my heart;

As the universe sings the song that asserts and declares for you my love;

A blessed life it is, seeing it in your eyes

Do not fear and do not cry,

We will be Forever by your side

Dear Friend

Oh my dear who has gone; what am I to do but be patient?

We met thinking we will never separate; and now we have separated knowing we may never meet again...

Because of the needs of life, there is no choice other than to go… to leave.

I watch the sun set and it is as if its setting rays are swords striking my heart;

The heart begins to beat rapidly and between the beats all I hear is a voice calling…

Good bye...

Good bye...

The tongue cannot possibly express what the heart and emotions truly wish to say....

And with the “good bye... good bye”

The tongue means: STOP STOP

Stop this pain and just leave...

Every hour I spent with you passes through my mind...

And the desire to see you again increases with each moment.

But I know it is not possible for another meeting right now

So I just continue to burn on the inside pretending everything’s alright.

And the complaints continue to my soul as I fall apart hour after hour and day after day;

The tears of sadness trickle down albeit knowing the uselessness of it all

My friend:

How beautiful being around you was.

YOU - My Mate

You are to me all time and place,

So passionate, So alive, you have left me in a craze

Your eyes are an empty piece of land,

In which I see nothing but your heart beats' pace,

I drowned in those beautiful eyes of yours,

Destroying in my heart all pain; not leaving any trace.

You showed me affection in all different ways,

Your charming demeanor is one full of grace

You are everything to me, My life... My mate...

You are all that I wish to hold, love and embrace,

And finally, you helped me remain on The Road so Straight...

And Upon God the Almighty we send all Praise

My Darling Parents

It takes so much to know what is love,
and that the little things usually mean more than the large.
So many things I have put you through,
But there is never a moment that goes by I don't think of you.
You always calm me and lift my spirits high,
You are there to wipe away my tears; upon you I can forever rely
And in the middle of those dark nights,
You are by My side quieting me when I cry
Whenever I need you, I know you will be there,
To help me with your full comfort and care.
Mum and dad, I love you.
And always will until time is through.

Yaa Allah

Oh to You Allah belongs the earth and the sky

All praise is due to You; You are the Great. the Most High

With You rest my life and my death

And with You is my fate in this life and the next

So much love and mercy to me You have shown

Erasing all my pain – I am no longer alone

You are there in the night as I call unto You

While my faith and intentions I always renew

I stand before You but ever so ashamed and so weak

It is Your mercy and forgiveness I wholeheartedly seek

Your glorified names my lips repeat

For You belongs my every breath, my every heart beat

My eyes sting and tears flow down my face

As it is Your name I constantly call upon & praise

Prostrating, my heart trembles with pain while Your pleasure is my only concern

To You I cry out ‘Yaa Allah’ and to You I shall return

Oh Lord, to You my life I will dedicate

And to you will I humbly bow down and prostrate

All power and strength do You transcend

And upon Your Prophet praise and blessings I send

With You as my Lord I am content

And it is on You whom I shall solely depend

Train of Life

As the pages keep turning and the scenes of life come after another, she approaches a sudden halt in her life…

She paused and allowed the world to keep spinning while she moved out and watched as an outsider… Spiritually, she had reached a stage where she was hit badly, bruised, hammered, battered, and shattered; whatever you want to call it. This stop was indeed, a vital one for her, as well as every Muslim as each and every one of us gets caught up in the waves of the world and the hustles of life…


As she got off, she turned and watched the train of this dunya continue its voyage without her… Her desires were calling her; summoning for her… She heard the whispers ringing in her ears; she felt a force, so strong, pulling her… She tried her utmost to pull away. She knew the next step was a challenging one, and she was uncertain of her capability to cope with that which was awaiting her… She turned away only to see the next train approach. Deep down she knew this is what she had to do. Deep down, she knew it was time…



She anxiously stepped into the empty and mysterious train. She was both afraid and excited. Her emotions were racing and her heart was struggling to keep up. She was afraid of leaving the past that she had held onto so dearly… A past that hurt her in many ways yet felt a longing so extreme and intense for it… Her emotions also comprised of a strange and different kind of excitement as she felt an even more intense strength grow within her. This strength sprouted with her realization of how powerful the words ‘La ilaha illallah’ were. With that, it was finally time for her to embark on a new, undying journey. A journey that would take her into the realms of a whole new dimension; one she never believed existed.


She took a seat by the window… It sped and sped; seeming to only go quicker, as her heart and mind accelerated with it. The thoughts, memories and yearnings for the past wildly collided with each other, similar to a group of particles being heated; striking each other in a battle occurring within the walls of the chamber they are held within...


Her heart pounded, and the pounding throbbed through her whole body… She was hurting and she heard a voice inside her scream, drowning out every other sound… its intensity sent shivers down her body. There was nobody in sight, nobody she could call out to. She had to make this journey on her own. The screaming continued. It over rid her desires as she shook all over. She wanted to let go of everything, she didn’t know what to think but what she did know was that she wanted to submit… She knew that much for sure…


The tears flowed… Their warmth marked her cheeks as they trickled down her face. She tried to stop yet they only flowed out further. Indeed they poured out with them relief, but nothing more. The screaming stopped. “Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar”, the Azhan blared through the carriage of the train. “Ash-hadu Al-la ilaha illallah” hit her hard from every direction. She cried more and more… her heart was aching… her thoughts and memories of her past were stabbing her hard… He SWT had been there for her so many times yet she neglected her duties towards Him on so many occasions… Her tears and the relief and pain that accompanied them were somewhat of a comfort for she knew in her heart that Allah SWT alleviates all pain.
She was never more certain she was travelling in the right direction than she was certain on that day.

The call to prayer still echoed and replayed in her head. She took a deep breath and held onto the seats for support as she stood up. Her lips uttered the entrancing and powerful words of the Shahadah. She repeated them and with each time, the words were pronounced with more faith and stronger conviction. The train stopped and it was time to get off… The train ride had ended but she knew her ride was not over yet… It had only just begun… She was in for so much more for her trip was not a temporary one; it was forever...


The Shahadah came with conditions and to obtain the success and happiness she was seeking, her promise to the Almighty was to be kept, treasured and honored. In turn, Allah would fulfill His. ِ
{وَأَوْفُواْ بِعَهْدِي أُوفِ بِعَهْدِكُمْ وَإِيَّايَ فَارْهَبُونِ …}

“… And fulfill your covenant with Me as I fulfill My Covenant with you, and fear none but Me.”

She did not doubt for a second that Allah will be just… but a feeling of dread returned to her and besieged her… She knew the time will come when she would have to answer for her life. Will she answer correctly? Will she gain the success she desires? The fear that came with the thought of her failing and losing the next life was enough to make any mountain collapse and any ground shake. Was it too late to change??? Her heart trembled as she pondered over these questions. She raised her hands up to the sky, her heart bled, her body was weak and with every part of her, she cried and she cried and she cried… “Ya Allah! Forgive me!!! Forgive me! Forgive me! Ya Allah guide me!!! I have stood at your door, do not reject me. Oh Allah, I have put my complete trust in you, do not abandon me. Ya Allah, I have made many mistakes in my life, but I know you are the Most Merciful and the Most Kind, so have mercy on me and protect me ya Allah. You have many servants but I have only One Master ya Allah. No one can forgive me but You and I can turn to no one other than You, so Ya Allah, accept my Tawbah and do not let me die except in the state of Islam…” Allahumma Aameen.


She walked straight ahead of her…She muted all the noise and clamour she had created in her previous life, for she did not want to be diverted from her mission anymore… She had one aim, and would do her utmost to reach it. Allah SWT had perfected his favour upon mankind and chosen Islam as the one and only religion… She was never ever going to let go. She had prayed to her Lord many times seeking guidance and now she felt her heart had become alive with the beauty and sweetness of Islam running in her veins… fusing and blending with her blood… inhaled and exhaled with each breath… pounding with each heartbeat… uttered with each word… and remembered with each thought…



Verses of the Qur’an filled her soul… “Light upon light. God guides to His light whom He wills. And God strikes similitude for man and God has knowledge of everything.” It was like nothing she had ever felt before… She felt as though she was a new born child; so pure… She did not want to return to her past, she felt so complete with what she had now… She prayed and she prayed that the Most Merciful forgive her sins and keep her on the straight path… She never imagined returning to the One who created her to be so beautiful and sublime… She had read and heard of its beauty but only now did she really feel it… “Allah extends His hands in the night to forgive the sinner of the day and extends His hands in the day to forgive the sinner of the night.” He had been so kind and never abandoned her for a single moment… Reminiscing now, she knew His reminders were always there; whether in her parents, her family, and her friends… the signs were everywhere… it was her that ignored them and denied her conscience all along… This experience was like no other…. It was like a new breath of life being blown into her… It was like admiring the beauty and perfection of a field of flowers on a beautiful spring day and like her breath being taken away with happiness at the sight of a loved one… She never wanted to imagine her life being otherwise. All praise and thanks be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.


Her journey was a beautiful one; filled with love and devotion to One God. Her life had become illuminated with people from all walks of life who shared one aim and shone together as one Ummah. They were united under the one, single banner of La Ilaha Illallah.

May you all enter Jannah with your loved ones, hand in hand, praising Your Lord, saying: Alhamdulillahi rabbil 'Alameen, to abide therein forever. Ameen

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39:71 [And those who disbelieve shall be driven to hell in companies; until, when they come to it, its doors shall be opened, and the keepers of it shall say to them: Did not there come to you messengers from among you reciting to you the communications of your Lord and warning you of the meeting of this day of yours? They shall say: Yea! But the sentence of punishment was due against the unbelievers.]

39:72 [It shall be said: Enter the gates of hell to abide therein; so evil is the abode of the proud.]

39:73 [And those who are careful of (their duty to) their Lord shall be conveyed to the garden in companies; until when they come to it, and its doors shall be opened, and the keepers of it shall say to them: Peace be on you, you shall be happy; therefore enter it to abide.]

39:74 [And they shall say: (All) praise is due to Allah, Who has made good to us His promise, and He has made us inherit the land; we may abide in the garden where we please; so goodly is the reward of the workers.]

39:75 [And you shall see the angels going round about the throne glorifying the praise of their Lord; and judgment shall be given between them with justice, and it shall be said: All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the worlds.]

Could it be?

I wonder if it could be
Can it ever be so?
And if it ever were to be
How will I know?
Can a miracle befall
Can it possibly become truth?
Will I hear your call?
Will I spend forever with you?
Everywhere I look, I see
Everything whispering that it must be
I hear voices asserting that it should be
Just you and me
Forever and for eternity
And that to my heart you are its key

All I'd Ever Need

You are to me the entire world and all that is within
Without you I cannot come close to imagining how little life will mean
You are what embellishes and adorns my very life
Hypnotizing my eyes with your beauty and mesmerizing me with your smile
Your smile is more than sufficient to captivate me
You have conquered me in every way; and I am no longer free
And now I surrender to your love that oozes and boils within me
How will I survive if you were to ever let me be?
I gaze into your eyes and I fall in love over and over again
With you I forget all my past hurt and pain
You are better than any dream I have ever had
The most beautiful soul, most dearest love, most charming man
You are the one I want to spend my life with forever albeit forever is not enough
Your very presence allures me to thoughts and desires of being in your arms
To see you flourish in my eyes releases all my locked up sentiments
Understand these feelings I cannot and attempting to I have no interest....
All I know is that I truly adore you
And to have a single glimpse of your face I will stand in an eternal queue
You detach me from this world as you create for me a paradise of my own
A paradise exclusive to you and I alone
Your divine gaze ravishes me with charm and delight
So complete and wild you have made my life
And every word coming from your lips subsists within me eternally
Whatever I want you are by my side perpetually
To share my everyday with you is a constant dream
You are all I ever want... All I'd ever need

So dear to me

Making me smile with just a thought
So much time together but only wanting more

So little thought of others
Only feelings as if the deepest of lovers

To love we did not choose
Now so afraid to lose

There remains the faith
To be one always is what we constantly pray

Will we find our place in this world?
The most precious gem you are to me... Most precious pearl

So empty when you are not near
Separating: my most hidden fear

Always in my heart I assure you
Dearer you are than all I ever knew.

-SunRise-

Viewing the Art and majesty of the Almighty Creator
Within the magnanimous sky of the Lord of the Worlds
And gliding through the Kingdom of the King of Kings
I am stripped of my breath as my eyes observe the splendor of the beauty of His Lordship’s creation
The sun rises in the distance and I am privileged to witness one of the countless miracles of Allah
Colorful to the eye yet so soft and serene
Glittering, it extinguishes all darkness that had surrounded me moments before
And now it rises and plays the role appointed to it as part of the plan of the Most Merciful
Sleepless and tired I was, my eyes no longer recognize any exhaustion
Above the clouds and within them, a feeling of tranquility overcomes me….
So great… So perfect… So miraculous are the creations of Allah
Then how, I ask, Great and Perfect is the Creator?
Glory be to You Oh Allah; You Who taught man what he knew not
I am Your slave Allah and You are my Master
Nothing is possible without Your will

No Matter What...

The days and nights pass me by and I yearn to see you…
The present no longer exists…
And I live in the past I spent with you and the future when we will meet yet again.
Days feel like months and seem to never end
With an aching heart, my love to you I send
So far away from both my love and dear friend
The emptiness of life overtakes me and I am swept away on a wave of misery
I drown in thoughts of a future together and the memory of our history
A history that can be counted in nights and days
Yet no matter what, always precious…
No matter what, eternally priceless

So distant

Emptiness and sadness within increase and expand

Life changes so rapidly and now it’s alone I stand

The dreams I once had now seem so far away

My world has become dark; both night and day

In a land far away, a part of me remained

A part of me that I always knew would someday cause me pain

A pain that cannot be described by mere words

A pain that can neither be spoken nor heard

It is a pain that cuts deep into the deepest part of the soul

I am suddenly incomplete after once being so whole

I scream inside so loud yet no one hears me

I try to speak but cannot express the hurt and scars that stab so deep

Is this what I struggled so much for?

It hurts... I don't want it anymore

Puzzled...

Caught in the middle of it all

Don’t know which way to walk

Lost and alone I am… With no one to hear my call

When even the stars cannot be seen in the sky…

And all light has been extinguished…

My only companion is the night’s breeze…

Its cold chill runs down my spine

And I shiver… Not knowing if my shiver is from the cold or from my confusion

What will the answer be?

What is the question to begin with?

What do I do? How do I know which direction is the right one?

What happens when the decisions made involve the breaking of a heart?

Where does forgiveness of oneself come into the picture? Will I forgive myself?

The burning tears roll down my cheeks leaving a trail of fire

A trail of fire leading to my heart…

A fire that will continue to burn for all of eternity

I force my lips to form a smile… A smile to put on display for others to see

As the outside appears all merry

The inside deteriorates and gradually dies…

The inside that was once so alive…

Now is feeling so helpless…

And so far from any satisfying truths.

Most Beautiful Thing

With the ripples of the waves

And light shining from your face

A glimmer of hope is born

Out of a past, painful, hurt and torn

A ray of light, through the cloud shines,

As one who was a stranger, now has become mine

A rainbow rises through the rain

Soothing the soul; once oozing with pain.

Is this real? How can this be so?

That’s right; It is the most beautiful thing my heart has ever come to know

Yearning...

Even in the depth of a dark and gloomy night

Your face radiates as all shadows fill with light

In your eyes I see rays of hope

That transmit the love I need to cope

For you I will give my very last breath

And because of you I neither fear life nor death

Your smile is the essence of my being

While I replay images of you in my mind; scene after scene

Truly, indescribable is the strength you instill within me

Within your arms and in your heart I yearn to forever be…