All days are nights to see till I see thee...

When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see,
For all the day they view things unrespected;
But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,
And darkly bright are bright in dark directed.
Then thou, whose shadow shadows doth make bright,
How would thy shadow's form form happy show
To the clear day with thy much clearer light,
When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!
How would, I say, mine eyes be blessed made
By looking on thee in the living day,
When in dead night thy fair imperfect shade
Through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay

 All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee to me.

~William Shakespeare, "Sonnet XLIII" ~

Success Comes with Trying

"I don't believe in failure, because simply by saying you've failed, you've admitted you attempted. And anyone who attempts is not a failure. Those who truly fail in my eyes are the ones who never try at all. The ones who sit on the couch and whine and moan and wait for the world to change for them."

— Sarah Dessen

Have You Ever?

Have you ever met a person that fulfilled you deep inside? Someone who's never failed you and stands, no matter what, always by your side. Someone who gives from their heart, who brings sunshine all around... Always smiling and laughing, never bringing you down. Have you ever watched a sunset, across the ocean shore...? And been filled with love and peace, never needing more? Have you ever listened to the wind, Blowing restlessly through the night...And allowed yourself to fly away, Never returning into sight? Have you ever been in love with a person so bad, and wanted nothing more, than to be loved by that person back? Have you ever when I speak to you, seen the light in my eyes, so vibant and bright? If you ever hear my heart beat, you would know how dear you are in my life. I wonder… will you ever be with me? Will you ever be mine? Will you love me how I love you? And will you care if you ever saw me cry? Have you ever thought of how to thank the one you love? And if you have, did you believe your thanks would be enough? Have you showed your darling everything that is beautiful? And everything that she would like? Have you told her everything that is delightful? And everything that is right? Should you worry about my love for you? Do you ever ask yourself that? Don’t worry the words “I Love You” will never be taken back. Now just one more thing I would like to make clear, and that is I hope my love you will never doubt nor fear… I pray you never do my dear. If that is so, then let me know, so I can make your fears disappear. One day you will find out, just how very much I love you and how I would love you to be near... Always and forever...

Just Another ‘Vent Your Spleen’ Moment!

Oh the agonies of law! I cannot recall how many times I have told myself to leave law school. But alas, I am still here... counting down the few weeks remaining (inshaAllah). Sometimes I think why do we do all this? Sometimes everything in life feels pointless... Our final destination is the grave, right? So why not just spend every bit of our life in worship and in preparation for that? Instead of wasting 5 years of my life studying law or whatever? Anyway, You get my point.

Allah is by Your Side

Through all your hardship & your pain
Rest assured for Allah is by your side
As you look up at the stars & bow your head down as you pray
Know that Your Lord has blessed you and His favours you cannot deny
You are a Muslim & thus you are blessed indeed
So be sincere to this deen & content with all that Allah has decreed
And as your heart throbs with pain, & your eyes well up with tears
Be Strong, trust Him, & set your heart free from all fears
NEVER forget that Allah is the One that knows all & hears
All you’ve been through, in the past days & years
So know that you will never be alone
For Allah will never leave His true and faithful servant on his own

Time

Time.
Like a Sword.
Is cutting me.
Time.
Rushing past.
Not a second look it gives me.
Time.
So vital.
Yet I fail to see.
Time.
So precious.
Yet I waste perpetually.
Oh how I wish I could only control this sword cutting me.

Where is the Love?

What is it that I just cannot understand? There is something I simply cannot pinpoint?

How could such intense love and intense hurt both coexist in one thing? How could two emotions from two extremes of the spectrum just conflict like that? How can something be so bitter yet so sweet?

How beautiful were the days when everything was sweet and simple? The days of our childhood... when our biggest concern was winning the maths competitions at school and which sport we will be selected for to compete in inter-school sports? Oh how I miss those days when we were all so innocent.

But things change.

Now we are big kids playing in this big world. Once upon a time we dreamt of doing what adults did but little did we know what awaited us. Why grow up? I guess Peter Pan had a point. Why can’t we just climb onto his ship and fly away to Never-never Land? And each of us has our own little Tinker bell to sprinkle fairy dust on us each time we wanted to fly away?

I guess we can only dream. Because this is real life. Now we endure. We endure from Pain. Hurt. Heartbreak. Illness. Depression. Anxiety. And the list goes on. And if we aren’t physically bearing this pain, we suffer as we watch others suffer.

Now we witness the dehumanization of people. We witness the blood of people become cheap because they adhere to a certain faith or come from a different country. Truly sad and extremely disgusting. But neither of these words could ever possibly come close to conveying the true nature of these atrocities committed in the name of global security, freedom and whatever other baloney terms they employ to brainwash us with.

Just Watch those in Palestine and you will understand... Those in Iraq... Those in Chechnya... Those in Bosnia... Afghanistan. Kosovo. The Middle East. Pakistan. Day after day millions are being persecuted in their own land, mothers killed in front of their children. Children killed in front of their parents. Men killed cold-bloodily for defending their right to survive. Defending their right to freedom. Defending their right to live. And they... they just kill. They kill with no heart and no conscience. They know nothing else. Where is the love they speak of? Where is the peace? Where are all these things that our so-called leaders preach about? Yes, actions speak louder than words... but their words are powerless, their words are futile. They proclaim nothing but lie upon lie upon lie.

And so the world continues to wait for a leader to stand up against these pathetic fools. We will continue to pray and wait. A day will come when all these crimes and injustice are paid for. Perhaps not in the Criminal Courts of the world. Yet surely in the Court of the Creator, the Just, the Most High.

So, until justice prevails, and the anguish of this world is exterminated for good, I guess a part of us will continue to yearn for our life in Never-never land, when we knew nothing of the cruelty of this world. And all we did was play with dolls, enjoy fake tea parties, and run around in crazy circles chanting ring-a-ring-o'-rosies.

Hope...

 When nothing matters anymore and you’re greatest companion is solitude, tears become your source of comfort.

As you turn away from the pains of this world, all the bloodshed, the crimes, and the hurt, not even love can bring a smile to your heart…

You feel estranged in the streets you once called home and the nights you sought rest and sleep in once upon a time are now the initiators of tears, loneliness and strong yearning for what you don’t have.

Yet despite how down you feel, as if the earth will open up and swallow you, there will always be that glimmer of hope… that light at the end of the tunnel… that single star shining in the sky… that will bring the smile back to your lips.

Poets

They say the words left unspoken…
They express the emotions which you cannot.
They hold a status of great wisdom…
They are our fathers of poetry
From the greats of the deserts of Arabia…
To the wise of the Palaces of Constantinople…
Narrating the viciousness of battles lost and won of the past,
And depicting the deepest of love…
Their ink does not dry out…
And their poetry lingers forever in the hearts and minds of men.

Forever and Always

There's a feeling in my heart which I just cannot grasp,
Oh how i pray for it to eternally last.
There's a twinkle in his eyes,
So entrancing, so fine,
So beautiful it is to know that he is all mine.
His touch is like a summer breeze,
Oh so soft, and oh so sweet.
His smile so perfect it touches my heart,
His embrace so strong, I never wish to part.
Forever and always is how we'll be,
Forever and always, just him and me.

Good bye

As you Walk away...
a tear
a single tear
Forms,
glistens
and falls.
Taking with it
my words
and my heart.

Goodbye

Words Left Unsaid

The reason why she is writing at this moment she, herself, is uncertain of... 

Some emptiness deep within has roused the need to write... 

For when no person can hear her cry, and no solution can be found... Ink on paper is what she resorts to.

And as she lay awake at  this time, she could not stop thinking of what was.

She lamented over the past where not one thing she had said could've properly conveyed her feelings and thoughts.

She does not know what to write nor what urged her to do so, but what she knows is that she is lost in a sea of shattered dreams, suppressed hopes and stiffled cries...

The ink in her pen, although as abundant as water, is going dry...

Yet, her emotions are still pouring out in an ongoing flood of love, hurt and an attachment she can't seem to let go of...

A tear falls... and others follow...  one after the other...

And as each tear speaks a language of its own,

Each tear drop represents those words left unsaid.

Between the Past and the Future...

Your life in the present moment is in between the past and the future. So what has preceded can be rectified by tawbah (repentance), nadam (regret) and istighfar (seeking Allaah’s forgiveness). And this is something that will neither tire you, nor cause you to toil as you would with strenuous labour. Rather it is an action of the heart. Then as regards the future (then it can be corrected) by withholding yourself from sins. And this abandonment is merely the leaving of something and to be at ease from it. This also is not action of the limbs, which requires you to strive and toil. Rather this is a firm resolve and intention of the heart – which will give rest to your body, heart and thoughts. So as for what has preceded, then you rectify it with repentance. And as for the future – then you rectify it with firm resolve and intention. Neither of these involves any hardship or exertion of the limbs. But then your attention must be directed to your life in the present - the time between two times. If you waste it, then you have wasted the opportunity to be of the fortunate and saved ones. If you look after it, having rectified the two times – what is before and after it, as we have said – then you will be successful and achieve rest, delight and ever-lasting bliss. However, looking after it is harder than that which comes before and after it, since guarding it involves keeping to that which is most befitting and beneficial for your soul, and that which will bring it success and well-being.

[Imam Ibn ul Qayyim al Jawziyyah - al-Fawaa’id, pp 151-152]

Searching for Strength

Her mind wanders frantically,
And she is lost in a state so turbulent with no concern of place nor time...

She walks amongst the people of the world,
Yet she feels no connection with them. So alone she seems... So fragile.

Surrounded by an empty hollowness,
She releases a long and seemingly endless sigh.

Clouds above her gather and darken in the sky
She is witness to the heavens above her cry...
And no longer is there any distinction between the tears of the sky
and the tears falling from her eyes.

The smile on her face conceals a hurt she cannot decipher nor define
It is strength she so desperately seeks but cannot seem to find.

Her eyes are in pain from little rest... yet even when they sleep, very little does her mind.

Reality continues to slap her and it hurts more and more every time,
So she keeps walking through the dark tunnel...
waiting to see the light.

When will her heart beat again? When will things be the same?
When will things make sense? When will the pain go away?

Her blue skies are now gone,
and still her heart is in pain.
Her mind is still wandering,
And she is still searching...

For the strength
to get her through every day and night.

It belongs to Him

Muhammad bin Ka‘b relates that there was a great ‘alim (learned person) and ‘abid (worshipper) in the Banu Israil (Children of Israil). He loved his wife very much. Co-incidentally, she passed away. This person was so grieved by this that he locked his door and abstained from meeting and conversing with people. A woman from the Banu Israil heard about this so she went to him. She informed those who were guarding the entrance to his house that she wants to ask him a mas'ala (question) and that it can only be asked directly to him. Saying this, she sat down stubbornly by the door. The person was informed of this and eventually permitted her to enter.

She said: "I want to ask you a mas'ala."

He replied: "Go ahead."

She said: "I have a neighbor from whom I borrowed some jewellery. I am wearing it for quite some time now. Thereafter she sent a person asking for her jewellery. The question I want to ask you is that do I have to give it back to her?"

The ‘âlim replied: "Yes, you have to give it back to her." The woman replied: "That jewellery was with me for a very long time. How can I give it?"

The ‘âlim replied: "In such a case, you should give it even more happily because it was out of her kindness that she allowed you to use it for such a long time." When he said this, the woman replied:

"May Allah have mercy on you? Why, then, are you so sad? Allah had loaned you something and when He wished, He took it back. (Because) it belongs to Him."


"When in your life an emotional injury takes place, (such as losing someone close to heart...) the body begins a process as natural as the healing of a physical wound. Let the process happen. Trust that nature will do the healing. Know that the pain will pass, and, when it passes, you will be stronger, happier, more sensitive and aware."

When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the soul smiles for what it has found

When we feel that we are going through a lot of pain in life, then let us look at the pains of the Prophet (saw) in his life as that would (inshaAllah) help us in finding strength and consolation.

One Tear Drop

One tear drop rolls slowly down her cheek,
but what was the cause of this emotional peak?
Was this the mark of fears untold?
Or of the joy, not even the strong could hold?
Did the tear betray a simply sad story?
Or a memory of days full of pride and glory?
Was this the tear for the loss of a love?
Or in thanks for a gift bestowed from above?
One tear drop rolled down her cheek,
but of the cause she does not yet speak.
This simple feeling that she let fall away,
was one she did not mean to display.
It is a moment meant only for her heart,
not shown for the world to destroy or part

9 Hardest Times of Your Life...

1. Being questioned when you yourself don’t understand.
2. Pretending to be innocent of what you are guilty about.
3. Trying to forget something you know you never will.
4. Admitting you were wrong after you have been so insistent that you were right.
5. Debating with yourself.
6. Accepting the fact that some things are not meant to be.
7. Trying to understand when you just can’t.
8. Realizing that you’ve been fooled after you’ve given your whole trust.
9. Parting with and letting go of someone who made you believe in love again.
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Untitled

Everything so wild

She is going insane

Can she turn back, can she stop right now?
Will her heart, in this state remain?

Memories of you flood her mind
Your laugh rings like a sweet chime in her ears

In her sky you shall forever shine
And she'll be thinking of you over the many years.

As she sees your face amongst the crowd,
She turns to hide away from you any trace of pain

Deep inside, all she wants is to see you smile
Forever and for always, through all of time.

Despite any tear that may flow from her eyes,
And any hurt she may feel in her heart,

Your happiness will bring her joy,
Whether you are eternally together or always apart.

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Stay Safe

Alone I Stand

So empty this feeling I have inside...
The solution is there... So simple.. But oh so hard to apply.

The tears fill my eyes...
And I remember your smile.

Will I see you again?
Will it ever be the same?

Your image is engraved in my heart...
And my soul calls out your name.

What is it about you?
I just cannot explain.

So secure in your arms...
I felt so safe.

No where I'd rather have been...
No other place.

But alas, here I stand...
Alone.

How I wish you were here with me...
How I wish for you to stay.

He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful

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And if Allah touches you with hurt, there is none who can remove it but He; and if He intends any good for you, there is none who can keep back His favour; He brings it to whom He pleases of His servants; And He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Qur'an Surah Yunus; 10:107